In...the Mood...
Ok, so I'll be honest, I fully intended to try and frontload this Blog post with an image of me making seductive faces at the webcam. Between the glare off my glasses from the screen and the fact that I have ZERO game, that just wasn't going to work out. Instead, you get a picture of my author's corner at the Cornerstone Coffee Haus from today's event. (What can I say, life is full of disappointments, and I can't do "bedroom eyes" to save my life.)
MOVING ON...
This evening was "Ladies Night Out and Dueling Pianos" here in my stomping grounds of Seneca, KS. Aaron and Amy at the Cornerstone Coffee Haus were kind enough to let me setup shop in their corner again. It was a really nice event (kind of like Trick or Treating for adults), and I got some great interest in Ash to Ashes. Even better, I got some fun sales with some awesome new readers, and potential for more sales in the upcoming week! I LOVE working out of Cornerstone Coffee Haus! (Thanks Aaron and Amy for another fantastic opportunity!)
Now, I wish I could say that the delay in this week's Blog was in anticipation for writing a post-event update following the book sale and signing. That would be a lie. No, the delay was caused by my taking care of other business (admittedly important tax-related business) and by my binge watching Stranger Things 2. I regret nothing. Holy crap, that show is amazing. It also helped to cure the mind-crushing funk I've been in all week, so that was a definite bonus.
"Ah crap, he's going to write another sob-worthy blog about depression and anxiety."
1. Depression and anxiety are things. They happen to be things I deal with on an obnoxiously regular basis. As an author writing for other authors, potential authors, and other real life human beings, I think it's relevant to stay honest about how these conditions impact the writing process and professional development. Representation and Information matter, especially if it can help other people in their own experiences.
2. I regret nothing.
3. In this particular case, I'm only touching on depression and anxiety as a reference, not diving deep into what has been bogging me down lately. Feel free to unclench.
Back On Topic...
Conventional wisdom - read here as that sage advice given by countless authors (also wanna be authors and people who read about writing but don't actually do it) time and time again - dictates that you should write, every day, the same time every day, no matter what. "Even if it's crap, write something." We've entered November, the official time of NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) - the epitome of "Write everyday no matter what. Even if it's crap, write something." "Write till your fingers bleed!" is a common war cry of the Nanowrimo warriors of November. They pour literally countless creative hours into a project (or projects) with the goal of having at least one finished product before the end of the month. (Why they don't spread this out throughout the year is beyond me, but I imagine it's similar to why people only remember to donate to charities around Christmas, or express feelings of deep devotion and love during Valentine's Day. It's a good source of mental focus, I guess.) Some of these participants even pride themselves on how little sleep they get during November as a badge of dedication to this cause. You will no doubt see the fruits of that labor flooding free publishing platforms like Kindle Direct Publishing in December and January. (Take that statement as you will.)
For those of you who haven't noticed (WHERE'S BOOK 2 JONES?!?), I don't exactly subscribe to this philosophy. I see merit in it, I really do, but I don't subscribe to it. Why? Because mine is the personality of "I'll do it when I'm damn well good and ready to do it and not a moment before then." Put less aggressively, I can't force myself to write - nothing of any degree of quality, at any rate. I also loathe the idea of doing something just for the sake of doing it. If I write, I want it to be something of value, of substance. I don't want to go back to something I spent hours composing just to delete or edit 80% of it and waste more time trying to salvage it. That process may work for some folks, but it doesn't fly with me. My perfectionist approach may be slow and inefficient at face value, but I've found it to be highly practical in creating a better finished product (in my humble opinion).
Also, if I'm in a massive funk, I don't want that mindset coloring my work. I don't want my characters to suffer in their presentation or voice just because I, personally, am in a negative space. Nor do I want my readers to get a sense of melancholy coming through from a scene where it doesn't belong. Now, I will admit that I've had times that I've sat down to write while I was in a foul mood and the process helped to turn my mindset around. Words have power. I love wordsmithing. There's something to be said about doing what you love. But in those times, I sat down eager to create something, wanting to build and grow what I've already started. I didn't do it just for the sake of doing it, because that's not how my process works. I did it because I wanted to do it, plain and simple.
Now the downside of this approach, and it's a big one, is that it leaves a lot of room for making excuses to not sit down and write. From, "I'm too tired," to "Oh, but I really want to *insert distraction* instead," and "Dang it. I really need to do this project over here," it's really easy to convince yourself to not write. This is why the prescribed time and frequency method works so much better for so many writers. There's no room for excuses. You're either going to do what you said you were going to do, or you're not.
If I'm honest, I really do acknowledge that I need to get back onto my regular writing schedule again. I've let my excuses and distractions pile up, and I only have myself to blame. That said, I aim to be careful about what I bring to the keyboard in terms of mentality and intent. I won't do it because I feel like I have to. I'm going to do it because I want to, and I believe my work will reflect that difference.
So, do what you need to. Approach your art as you see fit. Find what it takes to motivate yourself and get in touch with your inner muse. Write. Draw. Create. Discover what it is that puts you... in the mood *Barry White voice*... and do your thing. After all, that's what it's all about.
