Meanwhile, Back at the Desk...
I'm a sensitive person. Empathic. Empathetic. (Related but not the same concepts.) I have high moral standards and a strong sense of justice. When something weighs on my thoughts and emotions, it's like having an angry elephant sitting on my head. Not much gets done and it pretty much becomes the focus of all of my attention. This happens with personal issues, both real and imagined (I am a master of making mountains out of mole hills). It happens with other people's problems (Gosh, I wonder what I can do to help?). With a disturbing level of increased frequency in the last two years, it's happened with circumstances going on in my world view beyond my control (nothing screws with me worse than feeling helpless to stop injustices).
In the meantime, I've been excited and frustrated with the efforts to get started on Book 3. I'm solidifying my character concepts. I'm getting sucked into the research aspects. I'm formulating how best to get this story started. I'm eager. I'm ready.
But then there's this friggin' elephant...
It shouldn't be a challenge to be a decent human being. It's not actually that hard. Respect others, own up to your responsibilities, live honestly, and never assume that you're better or worse than anyone else. Pretty simple stuff, really. And yet, I'm seeing mind-boggling mountains of evidence demonstrating the epic failures of people who can't manage to check off even one of those four tasks. (Pro-Tip: Don't steal other people's children for any reason. Don't try to rationalize other people doing it. Don't give yourself loopholes to keep doing it. If you don't like Nazi comparisons, don't be a f**king Nazi. Problem solved.)
So all week, rather than actually focusing on Book 3, I've been plagued with worries and frustrations. I've watched people rationalize despicable actions worthy of the bad guys in my stories. I've been watching history repeat itself on a path that goes absolutely nowhere good. All the while, I see my friends and neighbors, both in real life and in social media land, going about their day-to-day like nothing's wrong. I've been guilty of it too, finding distractions and taking care of business as necessary, but these circumstances still plague me. Guilt still weighs heavy on my consciousness. Granted, the world doesn't stop turning because terrible things happen to people. If it did, we'd never accomplish anything. But I can't wrap my head around the notion of carrying on because there's nothing I can actively do at the moment vs. being a callous monster complicit in the atrocities that I'm actively ignoring. I don't want to stop caring, but I also recognize that I can't function when I'm this wrapped up in things beyond my immediate control. Somehow I need to find a balance; something I tend to struggle with on multiple levels.
Hopefully I can get my groove back soon. I really want to get rolling on this story. I have a goal in mind of when I want to release it, but it's going to take a better level of focus and dedication than I managed last time to get that accomplished. I guess time will tell what happens next.. on a lot of things.
In different news, I'd like to remind everybody that I will be returning to Cornerstone Coffeehaus in Seneca, KS on Saturday, July 14th from 10 A.M. to 2 P.M.! I'll have copies of Ash to Ashes and Wolfkin available for sale, and I'll be more than happy to sign copies of books already purchased. Tell your friends! Tell your family! Tell your neighbors! Tell that guy at work that you think is a really big geek and kind of socially awkward but might be interested anyway! I can't wait to see you there!
