In August...
I did an excessively adult thing last Friday. Truth be told, it was the latest in a lengthy list of "adult" things that have been hitting me from every direction in the last few months (diet changes, adding exercise to my routine, doctor/specialist visits, paying stupidly high bills, registering for a 20 year high school reunion). But of all of the "adult" things I've been dealing with, this one still hurts the worst. I said goodbye to a family member after 12 years of being together. He was too sick, too frail, and declining too quickly to let him continue to suffer. After a long week of fighting to get him back on track, I took him to the vet on Friday and acknowledged that the options were to have him put down peacefully, or to let him starve to death over the weekend. Given the way he meowed at me that last time, I feel like I made the right choice.
it still sucks.
This week has been passable. Last weekend I'm pretty sure I was in system shock. I kept thinking there was no way I should feel as functional and chipper as I did after the initial breakdown following the official decision. It just didn't make sense for me. Reality started setting in again on Monday as all of the little things I'd noticed but ignored through the weekend started to hit a little harder. A missing food and water dish. No paw prints in the bathtub after my shower. Fewer times scooping the litterbox. No patch of white fur or green eyes breaking up the pattern of the mostly black couch. No cat in the sink demanding the water faucet to be turned on. No tuxedo clad feline trying to investigate the fridge every time I went to refresh my tea.
A week later it has sucked more, not less. And yet the world kept spinning and the week continued.
I got confirmation from the manager at BAM Books and Gifts in Manhattan, KS. The signing event on Saturday, September 8th, will be from 2-4 PM at Books A Million in the Manhattan Towne Center shopping mall. It's my first bookstore signing event so I'm kind of intrigued and excited to see how it goes. Tell all your Manhattan area friends and KSU Wildcats returning to school!
Mae finished the cover art for "Nine Lives of Benjamin Finch" (after a most heinous computer incident devoured her previous progress). I'm currently in the process of getting it set for publication. I'm just waiting for confirmation from the CreateSpace folks to order my proof copy. With any luck, I should have physical prints when I go to my events in September. As it turns out the "short story" ended up a 40-some page novella. Who knew?
TopCon is rolling up on us pretty quick (September 15/16, Topeka Expocentre Ag Hall, Topeka, KS, 10 AM - 5 PM both days!). Lynn Main (Zombie Waltz) is joining me at my table this round, so we've been in heavier contact than usual trying to make plans and sort out how we're going to split an 8-foot table between two wildly different genres.
Jack Voraces is currently reading "Wolfkin: A Fairy's Tail" and we are in discussions as to whether or not he'll narrate the second book. Personally, I feel like his style and voice would be perfect for the second volume. Between his post-schooling job search and new daddy duties, he's thinking hard about time factors and wanting to make sure this second project doesn't take as long as the first one did to complete. I'll keep you all posted as news on this project continues to develop. ("Ash to Ashes" is available in audiobook format on Amazon, Audible, and iTunes NOW!)
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Another development is percolating at the moment, and I'm not happy about what it may mean for my writing progress. When I started this writing adventure I knew that my resources were limited and I'd have a specific window to get as much done as possible before I had to pull the ripcord and go back to "normal life." At 38 I didn't figure this would be a problem. As it turns out, current circumstances suggest otherwise. My resources are evaporating rapidly and the window is closing faster than my projections had predicted. As a "responsible" adult, I'm being forced to acknowledge the notion that it may be time to start looking for a regular job to start paying the bills and possibly provide insurance (the second part being the bigger issue). That just kind of is the way it is.
Now, a number of you may be reading that announcement and commenting: "My heart bleeds purple piss for you." "I'm playing the world's tiniest violin between my fingers." "Oh, poor baby. You might actually have to get a real job again just like the rest of us."
You're right. I've been very "fortunate*" (*review factors that provided me this opportunity) to be able to take a sort of sabbatical and focus on writing and publishing my books. There's been plenty of dicking off, if I'm honest. I'm not always the most focused individual with my available time. If I were like my friend Susanne Lambdin ("Realm of Magic" and "Dead Hearts" series) I'd have 10 books written and published by now with the time I've had available, but I'm not.
The problem is, I've done the real job just like the rest of us thing. I know how it impacts my creative process and productivity. In the wrong setting, I know how it impacts me personally. From this standpoint, I can't promise myself or anyone else what happens next if I go down that road again. I'm not saying this is a definite turn of events that will happen soon, but it's a very real possibility that I have to consider. Reality just sucks that way, I guess. We all have our concessions we have to make. This may end up being mine.
