Confessions of a Professional Procrastinator
A lot of this post may sound familiar. I think it can be said that, while I pick up on concepts quickly, I am, in truth, a bit of a slow learner.
The happy, awesome, joyful part of people discovering Ash to Ashes is that I've been getting a lot of comments along the lines of, "I can't wait for the next book! Do you know when it will be coming out?" I've been telling people what my general game plan is with enthusiasm, but I seem to be watching my deadline creep up much faster than I'm comfortable with. I've been telling people, "Oh yeah! I'm already 100 pages into book 2!" for way longer than I care to admit. That's not a happy, awesome, or joyful feeling. It's just a reminder that I haven't managed to make progress like I want to. (Which is in no way a reflection of not wanting to talk about the book or the series. I love hearing people's excitement about what's coming up, so keep it coming!)
There's a number of factors at work in delaying progress on book 2. As I've commented before, there's a bit of trouble on my part getting ramped up to work on book 2 because I keep getting refocused on book 1 promotional work and general discussion. Book 2 is a whole new set of characters, locations, and circumstances that tie loosely to the events and characters in Ash to Ashes. Convincing my brain to flip gears has posed a bigger challenge than I anticipated.
There's also a major issue I'm running into (future and current author's take note) regarding time management. I'm not currently working a full time job in addition to being an author. Circumstances have made that a possibility. I try really hard not to squander that opportunity or feel guilty about it (though I seem to fail terribly on both counts). What I've found, though, is that not having somebody else dictating the structure of my day has opened me up to some very bad habits. I stay up later than I should, get up later than I should, and when I finally get around to planning my day, half the day is shot because of this lack of discipline. I've been relatively blasé about this factor, attempting to run with it, but that's not working out so well. I'm currently in the process of trying to plan a structured work day for myself that I'll be implementing soon.
The other factor that seems to be both a result of and cause of this break down in productivity is a complete lack of planned time off. I'm seeing the consequences of this issue myself finally, but I've had it pointed out to me by people who are either self-employed or know enough about what's going on to try and get me to alter course before it gets worse. Instead of taking actual days off like the average working person, I try to compensate by stealing breaks between spurts of activity. I update spreadsheets then dink around on my phone. I do social media follow ups and get sidetracked by videos or articles from other people. I update the website or do a blog entry, and get caught up doing any number of other things in the mean time. Then you factor in food breaks, social interactions, and any number of other "normal people" things and suddenly the time goes *POOF*. So I have to get up and do it all again the next day and hope I can get more done on top of whatever is scheduled for that day. The day you had planned as a recovery day suddenly turns into more of what you did the day before and it all starts to blur together.
Turns out, that's a really draining way of going about things. Hence the waking up later and trying to compensate by staying up later, which turns into a brutal cycle all of its own. Just like working a full time job has been for me in the past, this kind of time crunching and frustration are total creativity killers. I look at working on book 2 and something fritzes in my brain. I want to do it. I'm excited to do it. But getting over that hump to put desire into action fizzles, and all I get is more frustration.
So here's what I see needs to happen. I need to take a few days off. For real. Unplug, unwind, let everything go for a bit. It's the 4th of July weekend, so it seems like a good time to do that (never mind the fact that random explosions around the neighborhood seem to ramp up my anxiety these days). I need to get myself on a functional schedule; something structured around the concept of a planned work day rather than a reactive hodgepodge of activities. I also need to get some physical activity added into my day and plan my eating habits a little better. Forgetting about dinner until 9 PM when I finally realize I'm hungry doesn't leave much in the way of options where I live. Not healthy ones, at any rate.
I also need to stop being as hard on myself as I have been. I've made a lot of jokes about what a jerk my boss can be, but the reality is "he" can be downright abusive. I've had bosses get on my case about productivity, time management, etc.. They've occasionally been blunt about it, but none have been as relentlessly harsh about it as I have been with myself. What's worse is, I'm more critical, passive aggressive, and manipulative with myself than I would ever think to be with another person. Maybe it's because I expect more out of myself than I do other people, but I've quit jobs over less abusive practices. Unfortunately, this is a boss I can't get away from, so something else needs to change. Unless I can fire my boss? Something to consider, I guess. (Metacognition = *mind blown*)
Wish me luck folks. This is a lot of changes to implement, but they need to happen if things are going to improve.
"We can rebuild him. We can make him better, faster, stronger." Me: "How about productive?" "Sure, why not?"
