Passion: Do You Have It?
I don't know how they do it. Honestly, I really don't. Dakota Caldwell, Dane Kroll, James L Young, Lynn Main, Seth Groves and all of the other authors and artists out there doing their art and working full time jobs (or going to school) in the mean time just to pay the bills. I am fortunate enough that circumstances allow me to be a full-time author, and I still don't feel like I have enough time in a day (or week) to get everything I need and want to do done (without driving myself into the ground - been there, done that, got the t-shirt). I look at other full-time authors like Susanne Lambdin, and I get exhausted just looking at her schedule of title releases and convention attendances. These people amaze me every. single. day. That's why I give them a shout out every chance I get, because, holy crap, do they deserve the recognition for what they do.
I've talked to other writers and artists at the conventions I've attended so far. I've listened to them talk about their work. We've shared war stories of publishing challenges and trying to get people to look at what we've created. I've heard them talk about their current or upcoming projects and other events that they plan to attend and my head starts to swim a little. This is our world. This is what we do. It's exciting, fun, thrilling, frustrating, time-consuming, and more than a little unique. It's the type of job that, unless you're in it or have experience with it, people just really don't understand what it really involves. It's one thing to go to a convention or exhibition or bookstore as a consumer. It's one thing to read a book or hang someone else's art on your wall and enjoy it. But until you've been the one putting everything on the line to put your work out there for other people to see, you really don't appreciate what it takes to get yourself behind that booth or table and keep yourself doing it.
That's where Passion comes in.
The one thing all of these people have in common is Passion for what they do. They love writing. They love telling stories. The love their characters, even the villains (especially the villains!). They love hearing from their fans. They create, write, plot, draw, paint, develop, learn - again and again, every chance they get, because that's what they do. It's what gives their lives purpose, and focus, and meaning. It's what drives the hobbyist to become a professional. It's what pushes a person out of "Oh, I've always wanted to do that," or "Maybe someday..." into "Holy shit, I've got my first one done! Now what?"
It's fascinating, really. I came to the game late. I took some major detours to get where I am. I listen to folks like Lynn or Dakota who grew up knowing that storytelling and writing are things they've wanted to do since they were children. I hear Susanne give the rundown of her writing career and all the steps and sacrifices she's made to get where she is today. I hear their stories and struggles, see their passion and drive, and, if I'm honest, I get a little intimidated. I start to question whether or not I belong on the same platform as these people who have always known that this is a step in their goal. This is where they intended to be from the beginning, and they have every intention of pushing forward. These are people for whom writing is their calling, and they've never second guessed that or let go of their dream. And then you look at Rowling, or Martin, or Clancey, or King and what it took for them to get where they are and... and... is anybody else's head spinning?
As for me, I spent a long time drifting. Writing was a skill I had developed, but I only really used it in the course of other jobs. I was a collector of stories, but I never really put them to use. The closest I came to really writing anything of substance was backstories for characters intended for tabletop games, but even those went mostly unseen. I was the aimless "Xennial" bouncing from job to job because my generational predecessors convinced me that a good work ethic and drive (and a college degree, any degree) were all you needed to be successful, and yet my younger millennial friends seemed to be on to something when they declared "This is bullshit!" and gestured emphatically at pretty much everything we accepted as normal. Any goals I had with writing seemed like long-term pipe dreams tied to a lakeside house and gray-haired retirement age. Reality was persistently kicking me in the teeth and dragging me through the dirt, and I never bothered to ask why. It took ten years to finally finish Ash to Ashes, and that was after I had already set aside two other projects (one of which is Book 2 and the other is Book 5 in the series). I just kind of finally fell into getting my book done and published and ran with it while I could. Who was I to come in and claim that I was now automatically a professional author with any degree of credibility? (My perspective, not anybody else's commentary.)
And yet, here I am. Thirty-seven years old, my first book published and in print. I've been to two conventions, with another one scheduled in October, and November will mark my second local signing event. I've put together an eye-catching table for display, I have a workable sales pitch, and I'm slowly clawing my way into the public awareness. All of this in just the five months since Ash to Ashes went to print. As much as I sometimes question my dedication to my craft compared to other people, I still find myself working harder at it than I ever did working previous jobs where I could still be functional just as long as I showed up and dialed it in for the day.
Perhaps Passion isn't just measured in word counts and pages written per day? Perhaps it's not measured in units sold? Perhaps, just perhaps, Passion is measured in the days you wake up and say, "By God, I'm not giving up on this. I can't. Not now. Not ever." Maybe it's less about what you haven't done, and more about what you've already accomplished and keep doing?
UPDATES!:
So in the last blog I was bemoaning the fact that Little Apple Comic Expo would be the last event I would be doing for the current year.... PSYCH! Freshly added to the events roster: October 21, 2017 - Freestate Comicon - Douglas County 4-H Fairgrounds, 2110 Harper Street, Lawrence, KS. 10 AM to 5 PM. (Book signing and sales.)
November 4, 2017 - Ladies Night Out & Dueling Pianos - Cornerstone Coffee Haus,Seneca, KS. 4 PM to 8 PM. (Book signing and sales.)
