World War Me
We've been fighting our inner-demons pretty hard this week here at the Chronicles. Well, fighting might be a bit of a stretch. C. Robert has been taunting them and demanding that they "Get the hell out of the way! We've got work to do!" Self has been trying to ignore them and begging for chocolates and other sweets like he's a sodding Harry Potter character warding off dementors. Jonesy has been analyzing them and trying to reason with them because he was the only one in the bunch that actually paid attention in therapy or college psychology classes (assuming the other two were present for any of that, it's hard to say for sure).
So far, I've lost three rounds fighting with my map-making software, but I've successfully started my short story. I've gained five pounds from all the junk I've eaten this week (as well as a weird fixation with lime drinks and chocolate covered caramels). I'm no less stressed out, but I have recognized that environmental factors (I have no control over) are definitely adding to my overall anxiety. What that actually does for me I'm not sure; but hey, self-awareness. Yay.
There's an odd space that I've fallen into at this stage of publishing Wolfkin: A Fairy's Tail. I can't remember if I experienced this phenomenon to the same degree when I was publishing Ash to Ashes, but if I did, I don't recall it having as harsh of an impact. Then again, at this stage of the game with Ash to Ashes, I was busy developing the in-book map, creating the publishing logo, jump-starting the website, and getting setup with a new Facebook page and Twitter account. I don't think I had as much time to think about it. By the time I got one project done I had another one waiting, so it wasn't like I could waste time letting stress get in the way of the excitement I had in publishing my first book. (No, no. That would just wait to hit me all at once in the following summer). It was all fresh, and new, and full of promise and excitement! Yee-haw! I was getting published!
Right now my revised manuscript is with the editor. I like her. We've communicated quite a bit through the last week or two. I'm still waiting to see what she can do for me in terms of actual editing. (She's kicking major duff with my cover design so far, just fyi.) If it works out well with her, I may drop her name to a number of my author friends to get her more work and to put them in touch with her services. Just to be clear, I know and understand the reason why she hasn't started the editing for my book yet. I was aware of it when I offered her the job. That's not the issue. The issue is, besides waiting for confirmation that this is for sure the editor I was looking for, I'm also stuck in publication limbo. The ball is officially out of my court. I can't move forward with it. I can't review editing until I get it back. I can't work on interior design and setup until the editing is done and reviewed. There's a bunch of steps I'm not sure if I can start on because I didn't do them myself the first time. I'm not clear on whether or not I can complete them without a finished, ready-to-print manuscript, which I currently don't have. Likewise, a lot of my stress is hinging on these aspects that I haven't had to tackle on my own yet. I'm sure they won't be that big a deal once I get to working with them, but until then, they are unknown factors just hanging there like a big hairy spider on the bedroom wall (could be a garden spider, could be a brown recluse; handle it wrong and it'll drop into the bedsheets and disappear with no way of knowing where it went or what it was).
Despite appearances (and what the kids at the theater last night might think), I am actually a generally patient person. In fact, there are some situations in which I'm probably too patient or polite for my own good. What I am not good at is giving up control, which is exactly what I have to do in this situation. The last thing I want to do is rush my editor just to make myself feel better about being back in the driver seat. It wouldn't be fair to her, and it sure as hell wouldn't benefit me any to get back a hastily edited manuscript just to have it "done" and "ready" to move forward.
So we Wait, and Trust, and work on other projects that have been waiting on the back-burner. That should be doable, right?
Yep... just Wait and Trust...
Holy shit, this is going to be a rough couple of weeks.
But, hey! C. Robert and Self just called a truce with the inner-demons. We're going to sit down and watch "ScoobyNatural" together (Supernatural Season 13, episode 16). That should be fun, right?
